Back in February I talked about being worth it in regards to Valentine’s day. Today I want to talk about believing in your worth through my story. As a disclaimer believing my worth is an on going and difficult process honestly.
It started two weeks ago when I worked up the courage to attend the prayer portion of the young adult night. I’m very shy and very afraid of messing up, so it was a huge step in courage and faith to go into that room.
Anyways, that night I was approached by the head leaders of the group. We sat down and had a discussion on being baptized in the Holy Spirit. I think being baptized in the Holy Spirit is a beautiful thing, but in that moment and even in the moments I write this I don’t feel like that was made for me, I feel like I’m not worth it.
This brought up the discussion of why I feel this way. The main reason I felt this way was because most of my life I was told I was a mistake. Something I realized during this conversation which I probably already knew but didn’t acknowledge is:
Knowing is different than believing.
I knew all of the things that were being spoken over me about how Jesus says I’m worth it but I think about how I’m nothing special. I’m a timid girl from Canada and people I met never remember my name the next time we all got together. I’m not worth remembering so why am I worth dying on a cross for?
The female young adult leader told me that she used to have to stand in the mirror and tell herself that she is worthy, loved, wanted and prayed for. So I decided that it is time to be mindful of remembering that I am a child of God, the daughter of the King of all Kings. But I’m not the type of person who can stand there and declare these things over myself, I’m a reader, I have to be able to see if with my eyes.
I went to the dollar store and bought a bunch of sticky notes so that I can put them on my wall with all of these words of affirmation reminding me I’m worth it. The only problem I’m having is being intentional and actually writing these things out to put them on the wall.
Be INTENTIONAL is probably the first thing I’m going to write on these sticky notes as a reminder to remain intentional about pursuing God and pursuing my worth.
This might have been a boring story but I believe and I know it is a power story for those who are working through this season as well.
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14 NIV
This bible verse is well known and often read in seasons like these because it is powerful and it is true.
Lord, I pray that if anyone that reads this is going through the same things that they feel that they can reach out to me as a shoulder to lean on. I pray that You also remind them that You are with them and overwhelm them with Your peace. In Jesus name, amen.